The Smelly Old Man is getting smarterer. He knows now when I get up on the coucheses he needs to get me a treatser. That way I don’t need to pull out all of the floofsers cuz I have something betterer to do. Then he can talk to the hoomans on the glass thing until I finish my first treatser. Then he gets me another one. I’m so proud of Smelly Old Man!
He hasn’t quite figureded out that his lapser is only for me. He thinks there are some timeseses when I don’t get to be up there, but I will help him learn because, dumb as he is, I love my Smelly Old Man. The only reason for having a lap is so dogsers can get up on it and give the lovesers. Otherwise, what’s the point?
It’s very important to train your hooman properly because a trained hooman is a happy hooman, and our job as dogsers is to make hoomans happy. Make sure you give your hooman lots of loves when they get a new trickser right. They like kisseses, but mine likes snuggleses even better. He likes it when I put my head on his chest as tight as I can, and then I watch him go to sleepsers. He’s so coot when he has his little dreamsers. Sometimes he moves his little pawsers like he’s tryinging to stand up. You should see him!
I makeded him go take a napser so I could do my worksers today. He doesn’t go out with Pretty Girl enough. If hoomans give enough treatsers to me on Smelly Old Man’s Patreon thingy, I might do more of these. I’m only doing one every new MoonTime right now, but I kind of like using his stuffsers.
Smelly Old Man telleded me that I talk too fast for some of the hoomans, so I’m tryinging to slow down a little bit. I figureded out how to use The Dogic Pro Software so I can make my voice sound more hooman. Smelly Old Man says there are lots of hoomans who listen to my show. That’s kind of weird cuz it’s meant for the dogsers, but we have to be nice to our hoomans.
I will put my pawscript out for hoomans to read. I feel sorry for hoomans cuz they can’t hear so many things. And they can’t smell stuffsers either. That means they need us.
I always remember how lucky I am that I have a smart hooman who knows how to love me. I know he’s trying to teach other hoomanses to love everybody too, but it’s hard. Hoomans don’t know how to love like we do, so we have to work a little harderer to teach them. And since we don’t get to live long enough, we have to work extra special hard to help them while we can. We don’t have time for anything else except for treatsers and kisseses.